Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence.
Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance.
Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence.
Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance.
I see you; tiny white delicate flowers poking your heads tentatively out of the ground as you start to grow after your sleep. I see you sunshine; your hue is slowly warming up. I see you bouncing off the pavements onto my son’s pale skin and he is glowing again. Hello voice; I hear you cough to clear your throat and I can make out a whisper. This blog has been in the depths of winter for the last year or so and for the first time in a long time I am sensing it is waking up. I have still been here and making lots of new work but unable to articulate any of it here. I have retreated into the shadows out of the spotlight and there was a catalyst
Early autumn 2016 my relationship broke down and as a consequence my life was turned upside down and is now unrecognisable from where it once was (there I have said it; the world is still turning). I moved house with my 2 year old son ‘Fox’, moved location, started again, built up from nothing, lost a lot in the process and hurt like crazy. I am a romantic and love hard so when it falls apart I feel it deeply. Life goes on of course and I am familiar with challenges and lucky to have my photography accompany me through it. As I start to bring my head up for air and able to look back at this last period of my life I have shot some of my best work to date. I have been shooting, creating some exciting work yet at the same time felt so vulnerable. I have unable to find the words, I have become detached from my voice and lost confidence in this. I have been unable to speak during this time and at the same time with the rise of social media felt overwhelmed with how curated and perfect blogs/social media have become. The pressure and expectation to run a professionally looking business in 2018 is real, everything looks neat and sharp and it feels a bit of a fantasy. I have toyed with the idea of it believe you me, I am seduced by how beautiful it all looks, but really….it is only skin deep. I am passionate through to depths of my bones about creating beautiful images and nurturing an artistic eye. I am here as an artist and a huge part of my process is to connect with people to delicately reveal their story and create a beautiful narrative of images. I am ready again to share more of me again here on these pages. I feel true depth of beauty comes from revealing ourselves . I am not in this world to conform, to be slick, to be beaten down by SEO, algorithms, reach and appeal. I am in this world to feel, create, connect, live, laugh and share and feel inspired once more to do this from where I am now standing. The deep winter has passed, spring I feel you.